{This is a post from my new blogsite. See Luminous Blue if you’d like to read more of my experiences from this past year’s journey with my daughter, interwoven with Elizabeth’s memoir and poetry.}
On Friday, November 4, 2011, my world completely changed. My older daughter Elizabeth, 21 at that time, called me as I was finishing a qi gong class at home. She was in tears, having trouble breathing and said something was wrong, she was in so much pain she was headed to the Student Health Center again. I knew it was serious, as this girl doesn’t cry, and has a very high pain threshold. I immediately said I’d meet her there, jumped in the car and tried to center and calm myself as I drove. As I walked in to find her, the kind doctor was telling her to go to the ER at UMC. We asked if she could go home, drop off her car and pick up a few things, and he said yes, but not to delay. He also called ahead and made sure she knew to tell them she was having chest pain, so she’d be seen quickly. Apparently he had a very good idea that she had mediastinal non-Hodgkins lymphoma from looking at her, as her face and neck were quite swollen, and that a large tumor wrapped around a vein was causing the swelling. She’d been having pain in her right upper chest for weeks that another doctor had been dismissing as allergies, and treating her with prednisone.
We didn’t learn the exact diagnosis until after her biopsy on Monday. However within hours of arriving at the ER, her chest x-ray showed us a large mass in her chest, about the size of her heart, just to the right of it. It was shocking to see. Elizabeth was healthy – she’d rarely been sick, had been treated with homeopathic remedies most of her childhood, ate organic whole foods, was a vegetarian since age 14 and had been a dedicated yoga student much of her life. How could she have a mass the size of her fist in her chest? How could she have cancer?!
Our dear friend Ann Marie, Elizabeth’s doctor, came to sit with us as we waited hours for her be admitted. I walked outside with her at some point, and started sobbing on her shoulder, “no, no, no, no, no….!” I was worried about all kinds of things, from the cost of the yet unknown treatment and her limited insurance cap, to her being able to complete her semester as a junior at the U of A, to how she would cope emotionally with the diagnosis of cancer, but I did NOT think she would die. That was not in my world of possibilities yet. I couldn’t even imagine my world without Elizabeth.
We were moved very slowly and gently into that reality, and for that I am deeply grateful. For the eleven months we had after this day, nine of them believing and trusting that she would have a full recovery and live a long, healthy life, and the last two months knowing she would die, I am grateful. Every moment was a blessing. She and I did a lifetime of healing in that time, she lived fully and richly, and in the end, she became love itself, showering us all with love, and in a state of grace that I’m blessed to have experienced in this lifetime.
Out of the Blue
/2 Comments/in Consciousness, Grace, Gratitude, Healing, Heart Center, Self Inquiry /by Lucia Maya{This is a post from my new blogsite. See Luminous Blue if you’d like to read more of my experiences from this past year’s journey with my daughter, interwoven with Elizabeth’s memoir and poetry.}
On Friday, November 4, 2011, my world completely changed. My older daughter Elizabeth, 21 at that time, called me as I was finishing a qi gong class at home. She was in tears, having trouble breathing and said something was wrong, she was in so much pain she was headed to the Student Health Center again. I knew it was serious, as this girl doesn’t cry, and has a very high pain threshold. I immediately said I’d meet her there, jumped in the car and tried to center and calm myself as I drove. As I walked in to find her, the kind doctor was telling her to go to the ER at UMC. We asked if she could go home, drop off her car and pick up a few things, and he said yes, but not to delay. He also called ahead and made sure she knew to tell them she was having chest pain, so she’d be seen quickly. Apparently he had a very good idea that she had mediastinal non-Hodgkins lymphoma from looking at her, as her face and neck were quite swollen, and that a large tumor wrapped around a vein was causing the swelling. She’d been having pain in her right upper chest for weeks that another doctor had been dismissing as allergies, and treating her with prednisone.
We didn’t learn the exact diagnosis until after her biopsy on Monday. However within hours of arriving at the ER, her chest x-ray showed us a large mass in her chest, about the size of her heart, just to the right of it. It was shocking to see. Elizabeth was healthy – she’d rarely been sick, had been treated with homeopathic remedies most of her childhood, ate organic whole foods, was a vegetarian since age 14 and had been a dedicated yoga student much of her life. How could she have a mass the size of her fist in her chest? How could she have cancer?!
Our dear friend Ann Marie, Elizabeth’s doctor, came to sit with us as we waited hours for her be admitted. I walked outside with her at some point, and started sobbing on her shoulder, “no, no, no, no, no….!” I was worried about all kinds of things, from the cost of the yet unknown treatment and her limited insurance cap, to her being able to complete her semester as a junior at the U of A, to how she would cope emotionally with the diagnosis of cancer, but I did NOT think she would die. That was not in my world of possibilities yet. I couldn’t even imagine my world without Elizabeth.
We were moved very slowly and gently into that reality, and for that I am deeply grateful. For the eleven months we had after this day, nine of them believing and trusting that she would have a full recovery and live a long, healthy life, and the last two months knowing she would die, I am grateful. Every moment was a blessing. She and I did a lifetime of healing in that time, she lived fully and richly, and in the end, she became love itself, showering us all with love, and in a state of grace that I’m blessed to have experienced in this lifetime.
Transitions and Acceptance
/2 Comments/in Consciousness, Grace, Gratitude, Healing, Heart Center /by Lucia MayaDear Ones,
My older daughter, Elizabeth Blue, made her transition September 23, after a year long journey with cancer, and she did so while being showered with love and in a radiant state of grace. It is heartbreaking and we are finding moments of joy in this time of grieving.
Elizabeth Blue and Lucia Maya
It feels overwhelmingly sad, and when I’m present in each moment I come to a place of peace and acceptance of what is. We are truly blessed to have had this time of graceful passage with her, and for so many of our family and friends to be close by. It does feel like she is at peace, making her way in the realms of those who have recently left this earthly plain.
I will not be scheduling individual clients or classes for the time being. I have been on hiatus while caring for my daughter, and am now taking some time for my own healing, being with friends and family, and doing some travel. I have been writing and will be creating a new blog that will incorporate my process over the last year with my daughter, and Elizabeth Blue’s writing as well.
I will begin seeing clients again in November, starting on a part-time basis.
If you are interested in attending our Hawaii retreat, the dates are set for December 6 to 11, and promises to be a deep journey into the Hawaiian healing energies.
I send you all a radiance of love and wish for you a showering of divine grace at this time of collective and personal growth.
blessings and love,
Lucia
Guest Blogger Jillian McKee on Nutrition
/1 Comment/in Healing, Holistic Health, Nutritional Support - Healing Foods, Resources /by Lucia MayaI’m happy to be sharing a guest blog post today on the benefits of eating healthy during and after a diagnosis of any kind of cancer. There are many philosophies and viewpoints on this, and I will be sharing some additional perspectives soon, such as the healing benefits of raw food.
In the words of Jillian McKee:
Why is Nutrition Important for Cancer Patients?
“Battling cancer is difficult, but good nutrition can help the body fight the disease and help the patient return to good health during remission. Eating well before, during and after cancer treatment can help patients feel better overall, reduce fatigue, boost energy and strength, decrease one’s risk of infection and help patients recover and heal quickly.
Eating well means consuming a range of foods that provide the body with the nutrients it needs to maintain good health and functioning. These nutrients include carbohydrates, water, vitamins, fat, protein and minerals.
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